may:
08th
JOHN's grad.
09th
mother's day
12th
MEIGH's b-day
MOJA's b-day
JAMES leaves
14th
military spouses day
15th
FRANK's wedding
armed forces day
19th
CHRISTINA's b-day
20th
TABITHA's b-day
31st
memorial day
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SUNDAY 23RD MAY 2004
9:25-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Listening - "SWEET ILLUMINATION"-SHANE barnard & SHANE everett Carry Away
Heading down to South Texas tomorrow morning. My brother contacted me this morning via the internet (of course) and shared the news: My grandfather died this morning, the morning of his wife's birthday and their 73rd wedding anniversary.
It wasn't too much of a shock. My family had been expecting his death for some time now, he was just so very old and losing the ability to take care of himself. I'm glad he was able to die now with some dignity before things got any worse. Of course, waking up to a dead relative is always a sad surprise.
I will try to post as I'm able but I can not make any promises. I doubt my online prescence will be missed. But nonetheless, I'm here and will remain for a rather long time. I'll surely post when I return. The following week I'll be down and out following the removal of my four (04) wisdom teeth. So yes, that means more time away from the daily Army grind. It is almost luck which affords me such breaks sometimes. Not that the death of my grandfather makes me glad. But it was his time and it came at a time when I needed a break too. I know he is in a far better place so that comforts me and does in fact make me glad. I'll get down to Texas, say my goodbye and spend some much needed time with my family once again.
I will return. Later. Thanks for reading.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SATURDAY 22ND MAY 2004
8:56-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Listening - "ROMANS"-JENNIFER knapp Kansas
On Procrastination:
The future lies before only those willing enough to scoop it up. Procrastination is the fine art of those who are not happy with their positions in life, the passive actions of the wannabes trapped in their mediocre lives they desperately want to leave. But are they so desperate? If they were as desperate as starving dogs, they'd eat what little scraps they could find. Obviously they are not unhappy enough to destroy their tendency towards putting off today what can seemingly be done tomorrow, or next week, or next year.
Mostly, tomorrow turns into today and what could be accomplished at a later date does not get tended to until about a day after never. There are always reasons, good reasons, to not start to do something today, right now. And if the brain is given equal time to think how, just as many reasons to do it now can be thought of as well.
Goals cannot be reached without taking direct and massive actions. So why doesn't everyone have their own version of a success story? What is stopping people from working towards and reaching their goals and heart's desires? it is no secret that if dreams were all there was to work for and if that simply believe meant achieving, that everyone with a first name would be successful. But dreams do not change the world, actions change the world. But doesn't everyone still have dreams, hopes, ambitions, or goals? Yes. So why then are the masses not going after these things and realizing them? Planning.
Procrastion stems from the seed that is planning, more aptly poor planning. If you correctly lay out your goals and the actions needed to achieve them, there should be no reason not to move forward. But so few people plan out each step they must take in order to realize their goals. They either miss steps along the way or just never really get startedbecause they don't know where or how. People must clearly define, to themselves, the things they wish to achieve, the steps needed to achieve these things, and the tools needed at each and every step along the way. In short, if direction and purpose is already laid down as a foundation, there is no reason not to take action, building on this foundation step by step until the goal is reached. Plans prevent wasted time wandering around wondering what to do next or what should be done next.
So okay, define, plan, and forge forward, ... seems simple enough. I mean, sooner or later success will find everyone, or everyone will find success. Of course sometimes it is not exactly the success they sought and it is not achieved as quickly as desired. It is the work and the planing, and the time and energy, put into launching a campaign for success that is so daunting. To leave a familiar place and move forward into the unknown is terrifing, even if it can mean becoming successful and reaching sought after goals.
So many of us swim in circles at the opening of an underwater cavern. Some have planned and quickly swim on into the darkness, confident that there is nothing within which can hurt them or distract them from passing through. And there are those who have no idea what they will encounter, and that proves to be enough to make them decide not to chance going in at all. Thos that have swam the course, through the darkness will reach the opposite end, something worth reaching. These are those who know the pain from not reaching the other side, these wonderful goals, is far to great to stand around and do nothing and that if they stick to their plans there is no chance of failure in the long run, or swim.
Take some time to fight off procrastination instead of always giving in to it. Write down goals, people to meet, actions and dates by which they should be accomplished. If you do not, and refuse to complete this plan for success, then there is a very good chance you are not ready to take the neccassary steps to propel yourself towards your goals and succeed
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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FRIDAY 21ST MAY 2004
9:25-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Listening - "FAITHFULLY"-The Katinas Roots
I wish I could say I'm all better now. I'm not. I have been sleeping for the better part of the time I have been cooped up in my room here. The extra rest is doing me good but everytime I wake up I still feel pretty down and out. I just hope I'll be feeling closer to 100% soon. The medications are working though, surely a good thing. I just took another pill a few minutes ago: Doxycycline. It is supposed to be some great antibiotic. I suppose it does not hurt much to try and kill any bacteria in me. I think it's working. I mean, I do feel better than I did Wednesday morning. My fever has gone down and my head is not constantly throbbing. Acetaminophen for the muscle aches and Cetylpyridinium for the sore, scratchy throat. I'm still getting used to drinking excess amounts of liquid. I'm not used to drinking much of anything ever so this is a drastic change.
I think I'll be well enough to face next week. And next week will be busy indeed. We are having to move stuffage around in the shop and some equipment out into a truck in order for the shop floor to be redone. After that we are going to have a technical inspection done by some regional folks. After that the new commander and first sergeant are going to pay us a visit from Redstone Arsenal, Alabama. I may have those two (02) things backwards. in any case, I'll be absent for one (01) of the two (02); on 07 June I'll have my wisdom teeth removed. It's an afternoon procedure that I'm told will take about two (02) hours. I'll have local anesthetic used on me so I'll be able to feel all the grinding sensations and pressure. That'll be good fun I'm sure. But after the procedure I'll have to take it easy. I'll most likely be put on lock-down once again here in my room. I'm not sure how long it will last but I've heard it's usually a week followed by another week or so of light duty and no PT. So I expect to be doing this number again during the week of the seventh.
May has been a very busy month and June will be even busier; ... July will probably be just as busy or even more so. It just doesn't stop here at Fort Drum. It's insane. I don't know about other Army jobs but in this particular MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) things can be drastically different from post to post and from team to team. The way things go is pretty much determined by the team chief. And well here, of course, there are fierce winters and nothing much to do in the surrounding areas. But there is so much more to do other than just calibration. I haven't really calibrated on a consistent basis since I have been here, and that's been almost two (02) whole years. Now it just seems as though a lot of busy work gets thrown at us. I'm pretty sure we are the complete opposite of the team stationed in Hawaii. They have beautiful weather and little mission; and I'm sure they don't work their fingers to the bone dealing with the unit they are attached to and training and motors and such. I don't know for sure how things are done there but I'm pretty sure for the most part days are not always so stressful as they are here.
I've taken my medication now. I need to take the others too. I'm getting achey and my head is starting to pound so it's time for me to call it a night and crawl into bed. I only have a couple more days to rest up and recover. I wonder what my first morning as a civilian will feel like. I think I'm ready to embrace a whole different set of (civilian) stressors about now. But I suppose I'll get my taste of those when the time comes. I just need to hold on a little while longer and prepare for March of 2006.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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MONDAY 17TH MAY 2004
1:55-AM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Yes, I'm still awake. What can I say, I'm inspired. I'm inspired enough to contiue cleaning my room. All the thoughts I was having in my head about writing and acting and movies and all that jazzola has really pumped me up. So I'm listening to music, gulping down Sierra Mist and getting down and dirty rearranging things around my computer. Most of the other stuffage under my bed and in my wall locker and such will either get tossed, sold, given away, or shipped home to mommy and daddy.
"MOMMY, ...
... a package should arrive for you in a week or so. There is a bunch of "keepsake" type stuffage in there (mostly paperwork-type stuffage) I thought you would find interesting. I know you would want it if you are compiling some sort of scrapbook or something of that nature."
Well, I'll most likely be up all night moving, cleaning, and rearranging. I'll post later on today about my progress. I should get a huge chunk taken care of tonight considering the progress I have already accomplished.
Sure, I'll be good and tired tomorrow but at least I'll have accomplished something. I'll not feel bad about staying up just to stay up. I should be ashamed of all the times I have stayed up and done nothing inparticular. If I had decided to do something and really set my heart on doing it ("it" being productive things) I'd be so much further along by now. I mean when you are trained to operate on five (05) hours of sleep max there should be a reason for staying up and existing in the world of consciousness. Anyway, back to work.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SUNDAY 16TH MAY 2004
11:55-AM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Cleaning my room has gone pretty well. Of course, it has gone rather slowly. If I'd have begun this yesterday I'd have most likely been finished by now. Slowly but surely though I'll get my room looking much more presentable.
For the past hour or so I have been watching movie trailers. Yes, that is a quite normal thing for me to do late at night when I should be sleeping. Of course I love movies and movie trailers. Ask anyone I have watched a movie or two (02) with and they will no doubt confirm my love and passion for movies,and yes, even the trailers before the actual feature presentation. There is just something about storytelling that really touches me. Whatever I end up doing has to be something to do with self-expression through the medium of storytelling: writing, acting, directing, something like that, maybe all of it together. I'd love to be an actor, that is not something that is a huge secret. Of course, the writing is where it all begins and that is all good too. And well, the vision has to be interpreted by some visionary if it is to be transformed from words on a page to action on a screen. Yup, I love movies.
I was glad to see ANNA paquin starring in an upcoming film. I wasn't surprised to see WILL smith as the star of another summer blockbuster ("I, Robot"). And I was extremely pleased to see that DENZEL washington is not slowing down his pace a bit, starring in the upcoming "Manchurian Candidate". The duo of TOM hanks and CATHERINE zeta-jones blew me away. She has worked with so many great actors. I began to think of the great actor/actress duos that I have enjoyed over the years. Actresses like ANGELINA jolie who has worked alongside some of my favorite actors: with DENZEL washington in "The Bone Collector", NICOLAS cage in "Gone in Sixty Seconds". And of course there's MEG ryan who has acted alongside DENZEL washington, NICOLAS cage, TOM hanks, TIM robbins, TOM cruise, etc. I was pleased to see NATALIE portman is working again. By the way, the upcoming Hanks/Zeta-jones movie is going to be great. It really touched me. TOM hanks is unbelievable. In this movie ("The Terminal") he is showing us what he showed us in Forrest Gump, ... his pure genius. I'm already hooked. It is such a good trailer. Then, when I thought I could not be touched more, the song "Leaving on a Jet Plane" began, and THEN there was his name, "STEVEN spielberg." So yes, The Terminal is a must see.
Strangely enough though it was a picture with RICHARD gere in it which proved to be the last straw. I thought for sure that seeing the trailer for "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... AND SPRING" would prove to be the one (01) which pushed me over the edge. But it was the trailer for "Shall We Dance" which sent me into a passion/inspiration/awe overload and caused tears to well up in my eyes and roll down my cheeks. It happens all the time when I just can not take the fact that in storytelling, as in life there is so much emotion, so much vitality, so much beauty, ...
Watch this trailer and you will know what I mean. When RICHARD gere (who I'm sure will be just as good as Koji Yakusho) replys to JENNIFER lopez's question of "What made you want to dance." with "It made me happy." ... it is wonderful. This is a great story. It will definitely be both a feel good movie and one (01) which really causes you to look at yourself and your life and ask questions. And of course the music AND the movie trailer-voice-over-guy. I love that guy. Shall We Dance, a story about the dreams we follow and the lives we change along the way. Watch this trailer. Watch this trailer and the trailer for The Terminal too. Watch trailers, watch movies, experience stories and allow yourself to be touched, to be moved, to be effected.
Boy I'm such a softy.
Watch the trailer. Okay, that's enough. I've said my piece for the moment.
Well, one (01) more thing, on the action side of the house: Two (02) words, one (01) movie, ... King Arthur, this summer.
Oh yeah, The Notebook, The Notebook, The Notebook, ... watch it next month and read the book. NICHOLAS sparks is great. If I could be any writer he would probably be the one (01) I'd choose to be. No one (01) does love quite like NICHOLAS sparks. So yes, one (01) more endorsement for The Notebook. Okay, that is the last plug, I promise.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SUNDAY 16TH MAY 2004
8:45-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
I'm alive.
I have been "around" this whole time but for some reason or another not really in the mood to post anything. I apologize for my absence and the fact this site has turned into nothing more than a "blog" a la Livejournal and Xanga. Believe me, I never intended this to be a one (01) dimensional project. I have not exactly been busy. I mean I have not been taking loads and loads of work home. Nope, when I'm off work, the time is mine. I have been dealing with computer viruses and just the normal work-a-day stuffage at work. All is a little more "stable" now. Well, I stil do not have access to my email. For some reason it says there is a problem accessing my email account through outlook express via my pop3 account. I'm not really letting it bother me at the moment though; I do not exactly get much email these days, maybe an email or two (02) every couple of weeks from my parents. Other than that it is all junk email.
I will not be promoted this June, the points jumped back up to seven hundred ninety-eight (798). With my luck they will not need another Soldier in an E-5 slot for months and months. But I'm more confident than ever that July will be my month. It is really funny: I should have went to the board while in the desert over a year ago. I'd definitely have been promoted by now, probably back in October. But hey, sometimes things do not happen as we would like them to happen.
time to get to cleaning my room. I have been putting it off for weeks. I have to get something accomplished in the way of cleaning out space and putting things away in a somewhat organized fashion. It looks like the police had searched the place. So, on to the room cleaning.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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TUESDAY 11TH MAY 2004
10:48-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Listening - "HERE WITH ME"-MercyMe Undone
Well, what do you know, my website is down. Now here is the ironic part: You are reading this which means my site is now up and running just fine. So in actuality the initial statement is incorrect. However, right now (at the time I'm writing this post) my site is down. So "techincally" it is a true statement. Of course, now, now, it is a false statement. In any case my site is up now (your "real-time" now) and "was" down now (my "real-time" now, now) as well. I don't know if all that was extremely witty or simply silly. In any case, as always I can fall back on the age old sentiment that goes a little bit like this: "This is my site, I pay for the space and can occupy it with whatever I choose, if you don't want to read, click that Back button up there."
Today, after another long day of Army work, SSG McManus took me aside, in private, and asked me if "everything was okay." He said he noticed I had seemed a little withdrawn. Oddly enough he has done this in the past. I do not really feel "down". Work is getting to me some days but for the most part I'm doing what I have to do and getting things accomplished. I suppose I have always felt down to some degree or another for as long as I can remember. I think it is because I'm simply inclined to thing so much. Maybe I short myself out by thinking so much. Who knows? Down? I'd not say that. Things are changing: JAMES leaves tomorrow morning and SHAMAL will leave very soon too. I do not want to stay here past October (when I hope I'll be heading to Korea). I have been trying to jump-start my life and do things to prepare for the future, with very limited success. So I suppose I'm a bit aware. And being aware of all of this does make me a bit withdrawn. I'm a rather withdrawn person for the most part. I think the real me is very much introverted. And while it is "business as usual" for me to be trying to get my own self in "gear," others may view it as me closing up and caving in.
Sergeants and specialists (promotable ones) are clamoring to get the shop in good shape for Thursday's inspection by Chief. He gave us a day by day run down of the tasks we were to complete as part of our field recovery now that we are all back from our collective couple of weeks in the field. It is a lot to do and for the most part we are not getting phenomenal help from the Soldiers. They never seem to fully understand or realize all that has to be accomplished. We are the ones getting all the directives from Chief and having to execute while they take their fifteen (15) minute smoke breaks and sit around with a care in the world. But I suppose some of that stuffage can be expected, not to the points it is taken by these guys, but a little can be tolerated.
For the most part I'm pretty sure we will be okay. I have been trying ever so diligently to get the vehicles and motors stuffage up to par. I think things are going pretty well. And the other areas are coming along too. The inspection is not something I'm worrying about really. I'm putting a lot of effort into doing things the right way and thoroughly. Chief is not someone I want to let down if I can help it. So I'm going to continue to gut it out, work hard, and do all I can for the betterment of operations here. And that being said I'll try to get to sleep a bit earlier tonight.
Later e'body.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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MONDAY 10TH MAY 2004
10:45-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Listening - "IT'S A SHAME"-Third Day Wire
What a day! ... Surprisingly, we progressed past day one (01) on our recovery checklist. Chief made up a checklist of things to accomplish day to day concerning our recovery since we are out of the field. Day one (01) was all about motors and the vehicles. Of course day one (01) was Friday, so what didn't get finished then, bled into today. So we finished day one (01) today, on day two (02). But all went well, even though it was quite a task getting everyone motivated and on the right track.
But enough about recovery and what is going on in/at the shop. It is all boring, trust me.
I am hoping I get picked up for Sergeant in June. I should know in about a week or so. The points I turned in in early April have been posted. I now have six hundred seventy-eight (678) promotion points instead of five hundred forty-eight (548); However, SSG McManus said my points do not become active until the first of June. So, that may mean I'd be heading into June with five hundred forty-eight (548) and would not "officially" have six hundred seventy-eight (678) until July rolls around. In any case, I'm still hoping the points drop for June and I get picked up.
Confused? Eh, it is fine, the Army usually makes relatively simple things rather confusing. Let's just keep it simple: I'll post the fact I get picked up if it does indeed prove to be a fact come the first of June.
When I get picked up (either in June or July) I'll immediately phone my branch manager and ask to fill a sergeant slot at Camp Humphreys in Korea. I have spoken with her in the past and spoken with Chief about it. The bottom line is that I cannot even request the a slot there (at either of the teams) without being promoted. There are no open Specialist or below slots there. So as soon as I pin on sergeant I'll be emailing and making calls again. This time hopefully I'll get some orders cut to leave by October or November. That is the plan now. We will see how it all plays out. The first step is my getting promoted to sergeant.
As I understand it I'll still be on the list with five hundred forty-eight (548) points for the month of June but will jump up to six hundred seventy-eight (678) points for July. So if points dip for July I'll definitely get picked up as MAURICIO was picked up at five hundred sixty (560) points. So I'll surely be picked up in July if the points dip. If the points dip for June I'll most likely be picked up too as I had five hundred forty-eight (548) points for May as well. Of course, there could have been someone in there with a number of points in between MAURICIO's five hundred sixty (560) and my five hundred forty-eight (548). Yes, that is only a twelve (12) point difference, but who knows, someone could have five hundred forty-nine (549) and be the only one (01) picked up for the month of June to fill a slot. Be, we will see. I should know in a week or so; points usually come out around the fifteenth of each month.
ADAM is heading to Korea. Yes, ADAM, my buddy from high school who introduced the seedling of the idea which sprouted into almost four (04) years (so far) of service in the Army, in my head. I kind of took it as a "sign": Getting back to Korea (my very first duty station) to end things there (where they began in the "real" Army) and being able to hang out with an old friend, a friend who played a huge part in getting me into the Army. That scenario almost seems cinematic. So yes, that would be great. It needs to happen.
JAMES' stuffage is all packed and on it is way to Italy. Last night he moved a bunch of SHAMAL's stuffage in here. It is all strewn about on his bed and his "half" of the room. This is SHAMAL's room too but he rarely exists here. His stuffage is here though. He pretty much comes in to change clothes for PT or work or to go out. He pretty much lived with JAMES: watching cable television and playing video games, even sleeping on JAMES' futton. Anyway, since JAMES is leaving, SHAMAL's stuffage had to be ejected from JAMES' room and put somewhere, why not in SHAMAL's "actual" room? Perfect. So yes, now the room is extra cluttered.
JAMES is pretty much all prepared to leave now. He leaves Wednesday. He is going to drive across the United States to California to visit with family. I don't know how much leave he took to spend time with them but most likely a lot. I'm not 100% sure when he is scheduled to report to Vincenza, Italy. But I figure he will arrive by mid-June. SHAMAL will leave soon too. His class begins in August. I expect him to be leaving near the first week of July; He will take leave in route to schooling for his new military occupational specialty (MOS). It is a good setup. He will be in Virginia near his mother and have somewhere to stay. And both of them will leave this place, ... leave me.
I will miss them, especially SHAMAL since we have worked together for over two (02) years now. We are so different but so alike as well. He is cool and I'm really glad I met him. But I'm not totally discouraged: I'm remaining confident that I'll be heading to Korea before my birthday. They are both making what they want right now a reality and I'll do the same: Korea.
Tomorrow is much more of the same stuffage. Chief says my main focus is on motors and getting vehciles up to snuff and parts ordered and the like, but there is more to do then vehicle stuffage. All our gear must be inventoried and such. The tents and cammo, etc must be cleaned and inventoried and, ... well, we all have a good deal of work to do before Chief does an inspection of all the areas thie Thursday. We will all most likely be burning a bit of the night oil tomorrow night. Yes, I should be asleep now. But well, I'm up. I'm drinking caffiene. And for a person who does not normally ingest caffinated beverages, it works about twice as good as any drug. And well, my new Third Day CD ("Wire") is super great. But I really, really enjoy MercyMe's newest contribution: "Undone".
I know I have not been updating much and a "real", more thorough update is something I have owed you all for quite sometime now. I'll get my act together and things will settle down in a week or two (02), I hope. Maybe I'll have some time this weekend to get down to the business of updating. Well, of course I'll have time, I just need the motivation I suppose. Yeah, isn't that the story of my life.
Friends! Where are you all? How have you been? How are you doing? What's new? Let me know. Later everyone.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SATURDAY 08TH MAY 2004
10:55-AM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Listening - "IT'S A SHAME"-Third Day Wire
A girl I used to know and care for very much, in a place I used to go to school, in a time I used to exist in (which now seems like an alternate universe or dream), ... she once said that this was her favorite song. So naturally I wanted to buy her a CD with this song on it.
I did and she in turn gave me a very sweet thank you note for doing so. Well, it's more than five (05) years later. I haven't heard from the girl in years and months and I haven't been to the place in over a year; ... I still think of her each time I hear this song. I wonder if it's still one (01) of her favorites. Because of her it will always be one (01) of mine. I wonder what her life is like now and I wonder if she wonders about mine.
I wonder if she still has that CD. ... I still have her thank you note.
"Open Arms"
Journey
Lying beside you
Here in the dark
Feeling your heartbeat
With mine
Softly you whisper
You're so sincere
How could our love
Be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side
So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms
Living without you
Living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you
Wanting you near
How much I wanted you home
And now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay
So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you'll see
What your love means to me
Open arms
I'll be going to a get together at PINKY's place in a bit. It's a farewell thing for JAMES. He'll be going on leave this coming Wednesday. He'll drive across the country to California and then in a few weeks or so, be on his way to Italy to sign in at his next duty station.
Apologies all around for my absence. Computer virus and a field exercise and just work, work, work. But I'm making a comeback. More later today hopefully.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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Content on this page © 2002-2009 Ted A. Mueller unless otherwise stated.
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