october:
01st
tabe test
03rd
mock prom board
06th
EDWINA's b-day
mock prom board
09th
promotion board
12th
EDELWEIZA's b-day
13th
RAMON's b-day
14th
LAINEY's b-day
mid-term
16th
pt test
18th
LAQUAWNA's b-day
19th
GLORIA's b-day
20th
YVONNE's b-day
27th
day off
29th
pt test
30th
TED's (ME) b-day
PRECIOUS' b-day
BROOK's b-day
SHIANNE's b-day
BECKY's b-day
MARI's b-day
ERIKA's b-day
31st
halloween
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THURSDAY 30TH OCTOBER 2003
3:37-AM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
"RATHROMONY, ...
... thank you so very much for the message you left in my guestbook. You have no idea how much your birthday wish meant to me. It made me cry. I know you are so busy with your life and your preparations and changes. It is wonderful to know for at least a minute or so you were the least bit interested in mine. To have my very first birthday wish (on the day of my birthday) come from someone I don't really know, ... thanks RATHROMONY, you truly are a class act.
I'll always drop by your site. Visiting is a daily routine. You have so much talent and skill and are a beautiful person putting beauty into each and everything you do. And I'll always want to visit you to check up on you and see what is new in your world. You are truly a good person. Good things happen to good people and good things come to those who wait. I hope you have not had to wait very long and never do again. Thank you so much for reassuring me that there are still nice, loyal, kind girls out there who are not corrupted by societies "rules" and stereotypes and such.
I wish you and DENNY nothing but the very best.."
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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THURSDAY 30TH OCTOBER 2003
1:17-AM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
"PRECIOUS, ...
... I don't know for certain where you are. And to be honest I don't know for certain who you are. All I know of you is what I can remember, and what I'm able to remember I hope has not changed. I have no doubt the last three (03) years of your life have been filled with challenges and struggles, but I know whatever has come in your path you have handled. I know you have succeeded, are succeeding, and will succeed time and time again.
If I never see you again I count myself lucky to have had the chance to be in your presence for as long as I was back in high school. You (even though you will deny it) truly enriched my life. For you I'll forever have a special place in my heart and mind and soul. I trust that even a tiny bit of you remembers just a tiny bit of me and really knows that I did care very much. And even now I still wish you well and still am willing to stand in your corner.
You said once that "maybe we weren't the kind of friends I wanted to be, but we were still friends;" I hope that is true even now. I didn't want to hear it or believe it then but I'd love to believe it now. I have not seen or heard from you in so long; ... it would please me to no end to know you still thought of me as more then a pest who wrote thousands and thousands of words to you but who spoke so very few.
Again, I don't know the here and now and what, why, or who in your life; I can only mold thoughts and perceptions by what I remember of a girl whom I loved once upon a time and a girl to whom I wish many happy birthdays and numerous happily ever afters.
Happy Birthday PRECIOUS GLORY lloren. I think of you. I miss you."
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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WEDNESDAY 29TH OCTOBER 2003
11:17-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
I am very tired. I think I'm going to call it a day. I'll post about today sometime tomorrow. And I know I owe you all (Ha, "you all"; well, the few people who visit here. Yes, you matter. I love you.) a mass update. I promise to update this weekend and add at least one (01) new section. I'll try to update every section.
I just do not have the energy tonight.
Good morning and good night.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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TUESDAY 28TH OCTOBER 2003
11:37-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
At about 4:15 today SSG McManus spoke with JAMES (SGT Lindly) about deploying to Iraq for six (06) to twelve (12) months. I overheard it so I asked about it. It turns out the powers that be are in need of a Staff Sergeant and a Sergeant to deploy with members of the calibration team out of Fort Riley, Kansas. I told SSG McManus that I'd like to go. He said he would look into sending a Specialist promotable in a Sergeant's place. JAMES said he might want to go, and volunteered too.
I can not remember if this happened before or after SSG McManus received a phone call informing him that BRIAN (SPC Diongon) and I had to do another PT (Physical Training) test for a PLDC (Primary Leadership Development Course) prerequisite. Yes, apparently the one (01) we took on 16 October is not going to be good to go to PLDC on the 17th of November. Would anyone like to guess why? (Drum roll please.) A PT test given by Battalion representatives prior to PLDC must be done within a month of the PLDC start date. That is correct ladies and gentlemen and boys and girls, BRIAN and I missed it by a day. But, what's wrong is wrong and what's right is right, sometimes there are not degrees of either one (01). So plain and simple, if we want to go to PLDC come the 17th of November, we need to take a PT test, ... the PT test, tomorrow morning.
BRIAN wasn't a bit pleased to be taking a PT test coming out of the field this afternoon. He was very, very upset. I didn't really think much about it. This PT test is one (01) you have to pass. I know I'll pass. I want to max my push-ups and sit-ups and run a very decent time. I'm always going out to do my very, very best on any and every PT test. Granted BRIAN has bad knees. And they gave him problems last time. I hope he makes it. It would really be a shame if something happened now, after the promotion board and just a couple of weeks away from PLDC. If you fail a monthly PT test before PLDC, you are not allowed to go. I'm not sure if it effects your promotable status. Anyway, I do not want to know. I just want to get out there, pass (max what I can), and get back to business.
TIME OUT
BREAKDOWN:
Two (02) days - My 22nd birthday (30 October 2003)
Twenty (20) days - First day of PLDC (17 November 2003)
Forty-eight (48) days - Last day of PLDC (15 December 2003)
Fifty-two (52) days - Flying to Texas (19 December 2003)
Fifty-eight (58) days - Christmas with the family (25 December 2003)
TIME IN
Before JAMES and I headed to his room to watch the finale of the JOE schmo Show we talked at length (as always) about the Soldiers in the shop and the climate and atmosphere of the shop. We came up a different way and a lot of what we are seeing with the Soldiers who have come in after us just is not up to our standards. Ha! Imagine TED with Soldiering standards. Well, believe it, I have grown a lot since I have been in. But do not worry (I know those of you who knew me "back when" may be assuming I have "changed".) I have changed for the better; ... and c'mon really, do you think I could ever get a hardened heart? Ha! No way.
I am still as soft and sensitive as ever, I still get passionate about the oddest things. Haha, yeah, movie trailers can still bring me to tears. And I still sometimes catch myself thinking of those I love most and who mean the most to me for hours and hours on end when I have tons of better (Are they really better?) things to do. I still love my friends with all my heart. Love my mother and father with just as much and love my GOD with all that I am. I still daydream. I still aspire to finish a book I have been tinkering with for years. I still get bothered when people do not like me. And I still get bothered when I do not like someone else. I still remember PRECIOUS and hope that sometimes she remembers me.
I still want out of the Army but am compelled to press on and finish what I started (26 March 2006). I still buy only Christian music (And still credit JOHN with introducing me to it. As I do ADAM for introducing me to the Army.) I still wish, hope, dream, and ask "what if", ... about some of the same things too. I still get overwhelmed with my emotions and sometimes cry for seemingly no apparent reason. I'm still single. I'm still under one hundred and fifty (150) pounds, and do not see myself getting over that weight anytime soon. And yes, I still eat just about anything and everything that is not between white bread with raw tomato on it. I still only eat with a spoon (no fork). I still do not use straws. Still, my favorite color is orange. I still sit at my computer far too much. I'm still lazy. I'm still not as motivated and driven as I'd like to be. ...
No matter what act of my life you were introduced in or when you exited stage right, and for whatever reason, I'm still pretty much the same. I still love you very much.
(Oh at the end of the day I told SSG McManus that I changed my mind. I do not even want to be considered for another deployment to Iraq. A year. No thanks. Now Korea, that's a different story. Ha! Still, ... surprising ya!)
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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TUESDAY 28TH OCTOBER 2003
6:32-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
"AMBER, ...
... I'm sorry we keep missing one (01) another online. I do want to talk to you, ... I'm looking forward to it and not hiding from you, I can assure you of that. I trust all is well with you. We'll catch up soon enough okay? Thanks for the messages and thank you so much for the guestbook entry. it is nice to know you care. Know now and always that I care as well."
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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MONDAY 27TH OCTOBER 2003
10:22-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
I just finished an essay for my eArmyU course (Language in Social Context). I should have finished it last night, ... I have been really lazy and unmotivated lately. I guess I try to put my all into work, ... by the time I come home I'm drained. And even on the weekends I tend to be out of it. Time and time again I tell myself I need to change, or try to change.
But I did it and it is out of the way. Of course I have to do a few more papers in advance in order to complete all my assignments before I go to PLDC (Primary Leadership Development Course) next month. (I need to ask PINKY if I'm on the roster for the November course.) I really need to go next month. The next course would not be until the fifth of January. I plan to be in South Texas, with my family, at that time. So November needs to be my PLDC month. Yes. Yes.
I received a birthday gift from a friend today. I ripped it open (What? Do you think I'm going to wait until the 30th? Ha!) and saw that it was a picture frame. I told myself it was pretty weird to send a picture frame as a gift to a person who has no pictures. But, I was dumb, ... there was a picture in it: A picture of seven (07) of my high school classmates--TANYA, REBEKAH, RICK, QUENNIE, MARIEL, ANNIE, PRECIOUS, and myself. It was a truly great gift. I have absolutely no pictures of any of my high school (Med High class of 2000) classmates with the exception of one (01) I have kept with me since 1998, which has special significance. Something from the heart is truly better than anything with a price tag on it. (Well, I suppose the frame cost something, but well, that's beside the point.) I know I have said it a hundred (100) times already but
"Thank you so much JESSICA."
I didn't really look at the picture for a good hour after I unwrapped it. The second I turned it over and glanced at it I caught sight of faces I had not seen in over three (03) years. And I was drown in a wave of a hundred and one (101) different emotions and questions:
"Where are they now?"
"Do they remember this time?"
"Do they remember me?"
"What are they like now?"
"Who are their friends, partners, fiancés, ... spouses, children?"
This had me thinking for hours and it still does. And I have no doubt that each time it catches my eye I'll have to sit and think of my past, my present, and my future; theirs as well, and all the other people from high school and other places I have met. JESSICA assures me some people remember me, think of me, and still care. And even though I always stress to people about "what if's" being able to be "good" as well as "bad", I can not help but feel a little "out there", a little lonely, and a little forgotten about.
But maybe they feel the same way. I can assure you though, if you graduated with me in 2000 from Med High, you are thought of and cared about, ... if by nobody, at least by me. So if you are wondering if I'm wondering, stop wondering; ... I'm wondering. Ha! Some things we take for granted and some things we live to regret, but some things we just miss, and just wish we could live through again, if only for a day. And not live through to change things, but just to again be in the moment and stare into her eyes just a little longer, or laugh just a little more, or smile, or hug, or just exist in a time and place we know is safe, and full of good times and good friends.
"JESSICA, ...
... thank you so much for the gift. It was truly not expected and a gift that I'll treasure both because of it and the person who gave it. You are really too kind to me JESSICA. I do not hear from many friends from high school but I can always count on hearing from you. And that counts for a whole lot.
Thank you for unfailingly caring and reassuring me that our friendship will never cease, through your words and deeds, and the thoughts I know you think of me. It sure is nice to be thought of, ... to be remembered, ... to be loved. . I try to be as good a friend to you as you are to me but it is things you do like sending me a thoughtful gift out of the blue that makes me certain you'll always be a couple steps ahead of me. Thank you for being a little quicker and not being disappointed when I have to continually try to keep up. I'll see you soon, back home in el Valle!"
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SUNDAY 26TH OCTOBER 2003
10:18-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Listening - "MUCH"-Ten Shekel Shirt Much
"ELAINE, ...
... thanks for keeping me company earlier tonight. I have a feeling I met a real out there girl. Haha, I guess you never quite know with the internet. I'm kidding, talking to you and hearing you laugh (sometimes seemingly uncontrollably) was like a breath of fresh air. I have been so busy, it is nice to talk to someone who is a bit off the wall. You're a sweetheart ELAINE. I hope we will get to talk many, many more times. Keep the Valley nice and warm for me okay? I'll be there for Christmas, plenty tired of seeing snow and being freezing cold. Thanks ELAINE. I'll talk to you soon."
Now, it is time for bed.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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WEDNESDAY 22ND OCTOBER 2003
11:33-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
"STEFFANEE, ...
... I liked "Kill Bill". I think QUENTIN tarantino is a creative genius. I've seen it twice and wouldn't mind seeing it again. Bloody, gory, sure, but all in all it is great, fresh storytelling, ... and after all, it is just a movie. You will like it."
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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WEDNESDAY 22ND OCTOBER 2003
10:58-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Well, I went to sleep around 6:15 or so, ... again. I woke up about an hour ago. I was planning to clean my room this evening. I may still do that since I'm now well rested. There are some things out in the middle of the room that I can put up. But I should do the whole dusting and vacuuming affair again. I think I'll save that for Friday though. Having a clean room going into the weekend is great. And since my room is so small to begin with it is easy for it is "clutteredness" to effect my moods and stress levels. I don't know if the room's feng shui is up to par but I do know it is just plain cluttered.
In other news I have streamlined my "buddy lists" on YIM, AIM, MSN, and ICQ. What can I say some of you (well not "you" per se but people on my lists) just do not IM (Instant Message) any longer. You pop on and off my list, linger, but never say hello. And I'm usually online. And if I'm not online it is too easy to leave a message. I leave "hellos" and "thinking about you" messages. Well, anyway, I do not want to dwell on this. Plain and simple, it is frustrating trying to maintain a friendship when all the communication/effort/caring flows exclusively in one (01) direction. No offense and I still love all my friends but what can I say, I have been away from those of you I have seen in the past for such a long time and I have been away from those of you I have never seen all the time. It is difficult to tell when I'm being cared about, put on a back burner, or simply ignored. So, I'll make it simple for those of you who send me "sorry I do not have time to even say hello, or email", ... just get back to me when you have the time. I'll still be here, still be TED, and still care. And if you take the path, like some have, and a direction in life which I can not follow as a friend then so be it.
I know I have more to "say" but I just can not wrangle the thoughts and formulate words and sentences at the moment. I suppose that is all for this entry. Maybe the twenty-one (21) year old me is just running out of things to say. Maybe I'll be recharged in eight (08) days. As for now though, I think I'll do some picking up around the room and crawl into bed in an hour or so.
"TRACEY ...
... thanks for leaving me messages. Do not worry about us not being able to "catch" one (01) another. I know you have stuffage going on in your life as I do in mine. It is quite all right. Take your time, take care of business, and we will talk when we can. Okay? But keep the lil messages and "hello"s coming, they really make my day."
"JESSICA, ...
... you work too hard. Take a break every once in a while. I know you Cornell students "take prelims all the time and do not think twice about it," but every night can not be an all-nighter at Rand hall. Work hard but take that time out to realize you have come a long way, accomplished a lot and just plain deserve a break and some peaceful time. I hope you like the book."
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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WEDNESDAY 22ND OCTOBER 2003
12:08-AM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
I am still not asleep. I was looking around my room. Okay, let me phrase it correctly. I looked around my room, which takes all of point zero, zero, and one half (.005) seconds (since my room is a tiny cell), I realized that somehow between preparing for TRACEY to pop in for a visit and now, it has been cluttered once again. Yes, it is time to clean my room once again. And TRACEY still has not come to visit. But it is okay for now, it keeps me cleaning my room I suppose.
Okay, I need to sleep. Really, I need to sleep. Okay. Here I go. Night and morning once again.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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TUESDAY 21ST OCTOBER 2003
10:18-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Well, my SHARP Warm & Toasty did it again. This time it worked it is magic as I slept. That is right kiddies, I was exhausted when I returned here from work. I started talking to TRACEY but found I didn't have much to say. So around 6:00 or so I figured I'd take a nap. Before bedding down though I popped a Sarah Lee Dutch Apple pie in my "microwave." Ha! It was to bake at four hundred (400) degrees for about sixty (60) minutes. I wasn't about to sit around for an hour, so after it preheated (Yes, my microwave preheats before it bakes. It is pretty wild.) I popped the pie in, set my alarm clock for 2145, and slipped into bed.
I didn't have to tell you my reaction to a good ol' fashion nap and the smell of a baked apple pie when I awoke a few minutes ago. Yes, something akin to sheer bliss. I had forgotten about the pie when I first woke up but smelled it about a half second later. So naturally I tackled the ironing board in the middle of my room. I mean that is what the smell of pie makes me do, tackle ironing boards and slam into the floor. But, do not fret, I reached my pie without major injuries. The ironing board is fine too. And as of now, the pie is really hitting the spot. Today was definitely the kind of day that is capped off with a long nap and apple pie.
This morning we did a pretty good PT (physical training) session: Push-ups, sit-ups, etc. We did each exercise in sets of five (05) from five (05) to twenty-five (25) and ran in place in between sets. It was good stuffage. I was drenched in sweat by the hour's end. But I worked my body pretty well. Now let's fast forward to about 3:45 when I went down to the 710th Battalion headquarters to pick up my package from the mail clerk (SPC Cunningham). I popped in and was about to sign and pop out with my package in hand. I was mere seconds from signing and leaving, the door was about two (02) feet in front of me, when there was a tap on my back. I turned to face Sergeant Major Mendez.
Yup, it was time to do some exercises for having my beret on indoors. I figured it would not benefit me too much to try and explain that I was just popping in and out and that I was seconds from being outside again. Nope. I choose to just get on down.
Push-ups. Flutter kicks. Push-ups. Flutter kicks.
Yes, all I wanted was to pick-up my package and be on my merry way. Little did I know I'd get an impromptu PT session courtesy of the Battalion Sergeant Major, who was wearing the Army PT uniform with open-toed sandals on. But nevertheless, what's a little extra PT. I was wrong and was begin corrected. Yes, for those of you who are asking yourself about "exercises as means of corrective action and punishment," yes, it happens each and everyday in your United States Army. Oh yes and I have been in over three (03) years and am not in a training environment. End of enlistment: 26 March 2006.
I am doing okay. I have been getting a bit rattled by everything that is going on but I think I'm handling everything quite well. I cannot wait to go to PLDC (Primary Leadership Development Course). I need a change of pace right about now. I need some new surroundings and new faces. I'm looking at it now as a thirty (30) day vacation of sorts. But do not worry, I'll put pen to paper while I'm there and while I'm on leave in December I'll transcribe it all and post if as the back half of November and the front half of December. For those of you who visit regularly and actually enjoy your time here, thank you, that is why I'll be dedicated to posting more often. You know I love you all. Visitors, please bookmark my page, ... you know it is just indescribably fascinating.
Life is good, I cannot really complain. Well, I can but I'm refraining from doing so. I'm not in a low, just a bit of a lull in action. And I never mind lulls, it is just that I can not seem to get out of it. My brain seems as though it is numb. I have no drive or motivation in me. I have all the tools to get going and make some moves in my life, but I'm stuck in a rut. I'm hoping though that I can keep running back and forth, and gaining momentum, so that when I begin to see the edge I'll be able to hurl myself over and escape the rut. So I'm biding my time. When the time is right and the opportunity presents itself I'll definitely make my break. Things will speed up when I go to PLDC and going on leave in December will be great. That will mix things up. And next year I'll have no obligations so I think I'll try to get into things that actually interest me and I get some level of enjoyment from. I need to start reading again. I need to read much, much more. Well, maybe 2004 will be the year 2003 wasn't.
It is about time to finish that nap I was taking before I was so rudely interrupted by an odd compulsion to tackle my ironing board as a result of the divine lure of an apple pie. And speaking of pie I think I'll cram another piece in my face before continuing my nap.
Good night all. And good morning to the rest of you.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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MONDAY 20TH OCTOBER 2003
6:58-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
"TANYA, ...
... thanks for signing my guestbook. Ha! Quite a few people have "searched for themselves" using a 'net search engine and found my site. I'm pleased you stumbled across my site. I trust you will bookmark and check back here from time to time. Next time leave your email address so that I may get back to you.
It would be really nice to catch up with you. I was very surprised to read your entry. I was sitting here trying to convince myself to take care of some things I have to do. Anyway, it was a nice surprise. You know how to get in touch with me now; please, stay in touch."
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SUNDAY 19TH OCTOBER 2003
11:45-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
"... just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. ..."
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SUNDAY 19TH OCTOBER 2003
9:48-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
I have to shine my boots before I go to sleep tonight. I'll probably put that off another hour or so. A stranger just IMed me via Yahoo! to say she "loved my website". It really made my night.
Well, tomorrow begins another work week. Another work week. I'm supposed to be going to the PLDC (Primary Leadership Development Course) in November will mix things up a bit. It seems I'm in a bit of a slump. It is pretty much the same ol' thing day in and day out and work is getting' to be a real drag. It is not really terrible. I suppose I'm in a "need-something-more-out-of-life-at-the-moment" kind of moods. And of course, I'm dreading the cold temperatures and foot upon foot of snow and ice that is coming very soon. Dreading something always makes the days just a bit longer it seems. Unfortunately the winter season is not just three (03) months of snow flurries and freezing temperatures, it is about eight (08) months of temperatures dipping well, well below zero (00), buckets of snow and ice, high winds, and gray skies. Oh goodie.
I have no official plan in the works to escape this place but an option is to put in for Korea and hope I'm stationed at Camp Humphreys once again. In fact, that is about my only option considering the limitations and stipulations concerned with my MOS (Military Occupational Specialty). Of course if I get promoted to Sergeant in December I could just come up on orders to head back to Korea. If I did go back I'd want to go back to Humphreys with MARCO. He wants to go back and we settled on it when we saw one (01) another in the desert. I have a feeling now that we are going to communicate more concerning that in the near future to see if getting back to not only Korea, but to Camp Humphreys is at all possible.
Our company first sergeant and commander are visiting next month. With my luck they will arrive the day I leave for PLDC. If I'm there when they arrive, however, I'll talk to First Sergeant Johnson about a pinpoint assignment to Camp Humpheries, Korea for MARCO and myself.
I am sleepy. I should get what work I have to do completed and get to bed. I know that will not happen though. I know I'll stay up at least two (02) or three (03) more hours. Of course, the amount of work I get accomplished, ... well, that is a different story. I'm working on not being so lazy and not procrastinating. So far I'm not doing so well. Thank GOD for second chances. Anyway, if I can eliminate typing here for the night I'll be closer to getting actual work accomplished. So I bid you all good night and good morning.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SATURDAY 18TH OCTOBER 2003
10:32-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
"Think of Me"
MARK schultz
Packing my bags this morning
Was the hardest thing to do
But packing my bags was so easy
Compared to standing outside your door right now
to say goodbye to you
Think of me
I know you've never seen me cry
Think of me
But it is so hard to say goodbye
Think of me
What can I say to show you
I'll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you
I will be there when you call
I will see you through it all
And even in your darkest hour
I pray that the LORD we found
Will set you on solid ground
I know that is feels like leaving
Is a part of letting go
But I'm praying with hope and believing
That I'll see you once again down this road
I hope that it will not be long
Think of me
I know GOD brought you as a friend
Think of me
I know He'll bring you back again
Think of me
What can I say to show you
I'll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you
Think of me
I know you've never seen me cry
Think if me
But it is so hard to say goodbye
Think of me
What can I say to show you
I'll never give up on you
I will be waiting for you
Peace be with you. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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THURSDAY 16TH OCTOBER 2003
10:11-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Well, I managed to pass this morning's Army Physical Fitness Test (APFT). I didn't expect to fail. However, I didn't do as well as I should have done. I didn't max my push ups or sit ups. I usually take for granted the two (02) events but as our PT program hasn't been up to par since I returned from the desert (and I've been doing so many other things and not any kind of work out on my own) I wasn't used to getting down and doing push ups. So, instead of my usual eighty-five (85) in 2:00.00, I only did sixty-six (66). I forget how many sit ups I did. I ran the two (02) miles in 14:25.00. That's a good time considering my knee usually hurts when I run. But my knee didn't hurt this morning, so I'm looking to improve my run time. If I can get it down to 13:00.00 I'll have a good shot at scoring a three hundred (300) on my next APFT. I've never done that before because it requires such a fast run time.
I can get more push ups and a few more sit ups back, that's no problem. But the run requires, well, what I did this week: Running hard Wednesday with JAMES, running hard yesterday morning with the NCOs and the sergeant major, and taking a PT test; again, running hard. Of course I doubt I'll ever run ten (10) miles in three (03) days again, and definitely not as quickly. But who knows, if I steadily improve my run time it may come to that in order to sustain.
But hey, another APFT is in the books and another requirement for my promotion is finished. I had to take this APFT as a prerequisite for PLDC (Primary Leadership Development Course) in November. If I wasn't going in November I'd have to take an APFT every month until I attended the course. Luckily, I'm going in November. I'm glad I'm going next month beacause I'll get it out of the way and January will be free for me to be on leave in south Texas. The next class begins the fifth of January, so if I wasn't able to get this slot in November I'd have had to cut my leave time short. I'd not have been a very happy camper then. The last thing I'd have wanted to do would be to cut my leave short to fly back to the cold in order to take a thirty (30) day course. But it doesn't look like it will turn out that way so I'm a rather pleased camper at the moment.
I have my plane ticket for Christmas. Unfortunately it's a little over USD$700.00 to go home for a few weeks. But there is nothing planned in the near future which will prevent this. So, anyone is welcome to give me partial compensation for the ticket. Feel free. My birthday is at the end of the month after all. I take paypal so it'd be too easy.
Originally I'd planned to take thirty (30) days leave. But a whole month is a long time. And work never stops here at the shop so I have to get back here sometime. I wouldn't want to get bored at home anyway so I'm taking a little more than half of thirty (30) days. I don't remember the exact number of days. But yes, the e-ticket is confirmed and I have a seat reserved. As soon as I finish PLDC I'll go into vacation mode and fly home. I should be there on the nineteenth of December, three (03) days after PLDC ends. And I'll stay until the ninth of January.
But, before all of that happens I have to finish things here and put myself in a good position to be able to take those days off back home. I have to train PFC Tyler so he can man PC (production control) while I'm at PLDC; I have to finish my Language in Social Context course by the end of the month; I have to get more promotion points in this coming week so that I'll have a better chance of being picked up for sergeant when December rolls around; and other things which will come up along the way. But so far, so good. Now it's sleep time. It was a short week but a long week just the same, ... and running hard three (03) days in a row for a total of ten (10) miles will tire me out every time.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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WEDNESDAY 15TH OCTOBER 2003
10:51-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Today was such a long day. It all began with a "backbone" run. It was a four (04) mile run. Well, it was supposed to be a four (04) mile run but Sergeant Major Mendez kept us running for at least five (05) miles. Surprisingly, my knee didn't hurt at all. Sure it began to feel a bit tight during the run but I was able to run the feeling away. I'm very pleased about that. I hung in there and kept going. I finished the run, which was at a rather quick pace, with everyone else without having to fall back. It was a very good run and I felt great afterwards. The only thing was that we did it in the rain. Yes, the rain.
Luckily it wasn't cold this morning or too windy but it was raining. I didn't think the run would still go on but sure enough NCOs (Noncommissioned Officers) and newly promotable Specialists (like myself) began to form up in the Battalion quad a few minutes before 7:00 to stretch out. As Sergeant Major Mendez told us all we would be running in the rain it began to rain harder. Obviously, by the time it was time to run we were all standing in formation with our long sleeved PT (Physical Training) shirts and shorts soaking wet. And after stepping in one (01) puddle about one hundred (100) steps into the run, my entire body was officially drenched. But it was good training. Well, at least that is what they say and what I'm to believe now that I'm on the path to becoming a Sergeant (an NCO), a leader and trainer of Soldiers. But really, I felt good afterwards.
I wasn't even sore when I dressed and headed to work with JAMES (SGT Lindly). I expected to be, but wasn't. That was definitely a good thing since tomorrow I have a PT (Physical Fitness) test. It is a prerequisite for the leadership course I'm going to for thirty (30) days beginning on the sixteenth of November. Anyway, the day proved to seemingly last forever. I suppose because I had been up since 5:00. But as always, I made it through the day.
TRACEY just said she may try to find my building here on post and drop by to visit. That means I have to pick up around the room just in case she finds this place. But I doubt she will be knocking on my door tonight. It is for the best since I can not hang out tonight as a result of the PT test tomorrow morning, early. But who knows. She is a fairly "new" friend so she could be a person who pops in when you says she will. So, I have to clean house a bit just in case. And I have to get to sleep soon too. I should have consumed more liquids. I can feel the fact I'm a bit dehydrated. Ah, the ol' PT test tomorrow morning. Well, I'm off to clean clutter and crawl into bed. Hehe, I hope I do not sleep through her knock if she arrives. Ha! Goodnight everyone.
"TRACEY, ...
... I'm truly sorry your birthday didn't go as planned. None of us like to put up with days that just never get going well. But it is always disappointing when special days do not go at all as planned or are just "bad days". Do not let it set the pace for the rest of your year at a new age. Things change and luckily bad changes to good and good gradually becomes better.
So again, happy birthday TRACEY and may tomorrow and each day afterwards be what today should have been. Do not give up, give in, or lie down. I'm glad to have met you and from now until our friendship ends, I'll be in your corner and be pulling for you. We will talk later."
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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TUESDAY 14TH OCTOBER 2003
8:31-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
"LAINEY, ...
... Happy Birthday! You've made it this far. Keep up the good work and never give up!
I've always been and hope I'll always be your friend. Anything, anywhere, and always LAIN. Enjoy your birthday and take some time to just relax; you work too hard. Spend some time with that boyfriend of yours. Make him take care of you for a change. Love ya. Happy birthday!"
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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MONDAY 13TH OCTOBER 2003
9:11-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
"TRACEY, ...
... I hope things are not too bad. I wish you could find the words to express to me what exactly is going on. All I know is that a friend of mine is not feeling so well. I wish there was more I could do to help. Do not forget that I'm here for you and care about you and what you may be going through. I'm pulling for you TRACEY.
Hopefully things will be different after you have slept. It was nice talking to you last night, as it always is; I just wish our conversation would have ended on a better note. Sleep well and sweet dreams!"
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SATURDAY 11TH OCTOBER 2003
9:23-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
I don't talk to JENNIFER as much as I'd like to. (I don't talk to any of my friends as much as I'd like to, much less hear from them or know how to get in touch with them.) JENNIFER's on my ICQ buddy list though. So when she's at her computer she is only a click or two (02) away. Okay, she's really miles and miles away but I can read the text she types from here so it seems as though, ... well, never mind.
Tonight JENNIFER was actually there. So I messaged her and we talked. I was in a rather whiney mood so I told her what was on my mind: About what I'd really like to do with my life; about my displeasure with the amount of drive and motivation, to do the things I truly want to do, I have in me. JENNIFER always understands. For one (01) thing she is in the Army too so she gets how sometimes it just seems as though you're just not doing too much. Things can be so busy, or just plain ridiculous and crazy, that you forget about the things you want to do with and in your life which have nothing to do with the Army. Now don't get me wrong, she and I have both come a long way. We used to just want out. We used to think that joining the Army was the worst thing we did in our lives. Now though, we are realizing that we've learned a lot and gained a lot as a result of being in uniform for years. (Yes, years, it's hard to believe sometimes.) But sometimes when I sit in my lil barracks room with only music to keep me company and the warm flicker of candle light to cradle me, I don't feel satisfied with how things have and are turning out. Sure, I may be selfish but life just isn't fulfilling sometimes. There's so much I feel I'd have done and would be doing if I wasn't here. JENNIFER helps me realize that anything could happen and to think "what if" does not always have to result in happy endings. What if's can be bad too. Of course, I seldom think that. It is much better to think of me finding a neat circle of friends at some private, liberal arts college, and working to finish a couple books with their encouragement and support to fuel my own drive to succeed. That would be nice. But I do have a lot going for me now.
And this life is a pretty good what if too. Granted I don't think that if I'd have a couple books under my belt or a movie deal in the works as a result of collaborating, I'd do much what if-ing. But maybe so. It's those of us who do with what we have, and live with the lives around us that truly succeed in life and make something of their time here, whether it be something big or something not so big. JENNIFER is making a life for herself. And I know that she is realizing that, as much as she hated being in the Army before, she had been preparing for the day she was to get out. Now I'm trading text with a girl who is engaged, living in her own apartment, and truly preparing to move on with life, without the Army. And I'm "uber" proud of her and feel fortunate to be able to call her my friend.
"JENNIFER, ...
... Thank you for everything you have done for me. You are truly doing it (And I know you know what I mean by that.) and I know I can do it too. You're an inspiration to me and a great friend. I'm glad the Army made us coworkers back then. But I'm even more glad we made ourselves good friends. You know I love you and I know you love me. And well, I can not necessarily include "you as my dear friend" in any what if scenario I can think of. And well, ... I don't like that. So maybe this is a what if scenario. A what if scenario I can make better with each passing day. Thanks JENNI."
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SATURDAY 11TH OCTOBER 2003
6:53-AM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
"I Can Only Imagine"
MercyMe
I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you JESUS or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I'll do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine, yeah
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you JESUS or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you JESUS or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine
When all I'll do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine
Peace be with you. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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FRIDAY 10TH OCTOBER 2003
10:23-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Tired. Goodnight. (And yes, it's Christmas time.)
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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THURSDAY 09TH OCTOBER 2003
11:49-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Well all the studying and effort and hopes and prayers culminated this morning in the form of a twenty (20) minute board appearance by yours truly. MAURICIO and I met SGT Boyd at the shop around 7:00. From there we headed to Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast. I ordered ham, egg, and cheese on a croissant and a bran muffin. They bagged it and handed it to us through the window. We were then off, back to the barracks. We were to be at the battalion headquarters at 9:00 to get into the "zone" so to speak. SGT Boyd was to come up to the barracks to meet us and we were going to walk there together. It was about 8:30 when she knocked on my door. I knew she'd arrive early, she did before when I appeared before the Soldier of the Month and Soldier of the Quarter boards. We went down the other hall to get MAURICIO. He wasn't there.
Sure enough, when we approached the building he was outside staring into a study guide. So today was the day, the day we had both been steadily preparing for the past few months. Both of us had been denied promotion board appearances because of some reason or another; timing just didn't seem to be right or too much work needed to be done. MAURICIO had injured his ankle a few days before he was to appear before a promotion board earlier this year. And because paperwork wasn't put in for me in a timely fashion, I missed an opportunity to attend a board in the desert. But none of that mattered this morning. We were just moments from appearing before the promotion board and proving to it's members we not only deserved to be there but deserved to walk out of the board promotable, a huge step forward to becoming being promoted to sergeant.
We waited and did a little touching up of our uniforms: SGT Boyd painted the edges of our shoe's soles with edge dressing so they'd be black in color instead of a dirty gray. MAURICIO and I went over a few questions. I did some face calisthenics. Soon we were ready to go. Most of the shop appeared for a anti-terrorism briefing. (It's a yearly requirement.) So they were all there to wish MAURICIO and myself luck. That was cool.
Roll was called. I was called second. And sure enough, after everyone was called SPC Delos-Angeles said that the order of roll call would be the order of appearance. I was the second Soldier appearing for promotion to sergeant, MAURICIO was third. And there were two (02) sergeants appearing for promotion to staff sergeant. Fifteen (15) minutes later I found out that the person ahead of me wasn't going ahead of me after all, and in fact I'd be the first Soldier to appear. This was told me just before the second sergeant knocked and walked in. I was going to be the first Soldier they saw for promotion to sergeant. I was going to set the pace.
I knocked three (03) times and waited to be told to enter by the president of the board. SGT Boyd was already sitting there to the side. She had "intorduced" me to the board members before I entered and would remain in the background to observe my performance. A lone chair was set a few feet from a table. Sitting at the table were three (03) sergeants and the 710th sergeant major. I stopped in front of their table, put up a salute and with the words "SPC Mueller reporting to the president of the board," began what would be roughly twenty-five (25) minutes of talking about myself and answering questions while trying to remain calm and confident. I missed a few questions, but not many. I missed one (01) really easy question. But I didn't falter or get too nervous. I did very well compared to the Soldier board in September and the mock board at the shop on Tuesday.
After I stood from the hot seat, saluted, and left the board room, I walked around a bit to kind of shake it off. The relief I felt was almost overwhelming. I knew I'd done my best: I was calm, I spoke clearly, and I only missed a few questions. I was very pleased that it was over though. MAURICIO went in and I went around to talk to some of the other Soldiers there. I told one (01) I'd seen at the board last month that he'd have to sing the division (10th Mountain) song as well as know about the division patch. I told him it wasn't very hard. When I walked back the way I'd come I met MAURICIO coming out. I knew that he wasn't in there long enough. He said he had been dismissed because his pants were too short. He wouldn't be able to be reviewed by the board. He was extremely disappointed and I and SGT Boyd felt bad for him. But hey, what can you do, Sergeant Major Mendez had put out weeks ago that if a Soldier wanted to attend a promotion board he needed to attend a Soldier board beforehand. MAURICIO didn't come out of the field to do so. He could've but choose not to. And before the board this morning the sergeant major said that if anyone had mistakes with their uniform they'd promptly be dismissed.
I'm promotable! I felt on top of the world the rest of the day. Around 3:00 SGT Boyd and I went back to battalion. We discovered I'd been given one hundred forty-seven (147) points of one hundred fifty (150) possible points for the board and that my total number of promotion points was now at five hundred fifteen (515). I was pleased (and still am) because this puts me in a very good place to get picked up for sergeant in December if the points drop. There's a two (02) month period between a promotion board appearance and the day a Soldier is eligible to actually be given the next rank. And a certain number of points is designated as a cutoff for each MOS (military occupational specialty). Our (35H-Calibrator) point cutoff is set at seven hundred ninety-eight (798) points, the highest it can be. But every so often the points dip and one (01) or two (02) Soldiers are picked up. October's points dipped to four hundred fifty (450). If I'd attended the board in the desert I'd have been picked up for sergeant this month because I'd have had enough points. But I'm hoping the points will take another dive in December so I can get picked up the very first month I become eligible. I'm still going to do military courses on the computer which are worth promotion points, this weekend. I can add another forty (40) or fifty (50) by taking a few more exams.
I have to say, all the work and all the effort, praying, hoping, and encouragement from those around me and my friends and family paid off big time. And I hope that come December I'll be standing before my workmates with a little more rank. I told PFC Tyler if I was picked up for sergeant in December I'd let him make me do push-ups. Of course, I let him know I'd get him back. Ha!
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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WEDNESDAY 08TH OCTOBER 2003
10:19-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Well, training was tolerable today. PINKY (SGT Lambert) gave us all two (02) classes on communication using radios and tactical field phones. It was actually pretty cool. We used call signs and the military, phonetic alphabet and number system. Afterwards she took us over to Bravo Company's motor pool, where our generators are kept, to do maintenance checks on them. It wasn't that bad. Of course, the cold is coming which will make training a pain. But hey, we are all enjoying the warmth and sight of the sun while they both last.
SSG McManus gave MAURICIO (SPC Santos) and me the rest of the day off after training. MAURICIO headed back to the barracks. I decided to stay on and work until the end of the day. Sure, I like days off but I also like being at work and working. I mean that is my job. And if we are open for business I like to be up front dealing with the customers and manning the phone. I get nervous when I'm not up front in PC (Production Control). I'll definitely be thinking about the state of PC when I go to PLDC (Primary Leadership Development Course) in November. it is a month long course to teach me about being a sergeant. I'll be training MIKE (PFC Tyler) to fill in for me during that time. I'll only have about three (03) and a half weeks to train him. I hope he is willing to learn, enthusiastic, and very receptive. I talked to him briefly about it the other day. He said he wanted to see what it was all about. I think he is my best bet as far as a stand in for the time being. I'll see how things went when I return. I just learned today that our next QA (Quality Assurance Inspection) will most likely occur when I'm at PLDC. That is really disappointing, I really want to be in my area when they arrive. But hey, I also need to put down this PLDC stuffage. So I'll definitely be busy training MIKE and trying to encourage him to adopt a little bit of my style and habits concerning PC and general customer service. I want to teach him a little of what I do so later he can begin to adopt his own style. I think he is lucky to be learning it from me. I had to put a lot together from scratch in Korea. So I know what goes into PC and what has to come out of a person to run it properly. And of course I have created my own way of running things and dealing with customers. I hope I can teach him well so that there will be nothing he will not be able to handle come November, with the help of Drew (SGT Pilger) and JAMES (SGT Lindly).
Well, tomorrow's the board and after it I begin a four (04) day weekend. There will be a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders once the board is over and done with. I feel confident about doing well. I was less nervous when we did the mock board yesterday, after the two (02) cancellations. But I was out of it because I hadn't slept much. I'll be in bed by 2330 tonight. I need that extra sleep for tomorrow. Indeed. I think I'll do well. I'll do my best, I know that. And I think the board members have seen enough Soldiers to know who deserves a certain number of promotion points and who deserves to be a sergeant as soon as they meet the point requirements.
A lot is going on. Yes, I have been pretty busy since I have returned from the desert. And things will not let up this weekend either. I have a couple of papers to write and a mid-term to study for my Language in Social Contexts course. And I want to do more correspondence courses over the weekend to add to my promotion points. In addition to that I need to work out some sort of plan of action for Tuesday when work begins again. I'm going to need a plan and method to begin training Mike.
Well, it is about time for me to think about winding down. I do not even have my messaging programs going. I wonder if anyone is wondering why I'm not online and accessible for chat. I need a few minutes to think on tomorrow and get myself mentally prepared and such. Yes, by this time tomorrow I'll be promotable and closer to my goal of becoming a sergeant. I'm sorry I have not posted in a while. I did scrawl some stuffage down in a notebook concerning yesterday, and I think I penned stuffage about Monday as well. I doubt I'll ever transcribe it all though. I should. I'll need to do a month's worth of transcribing when I return from PLDC. I'm going to try to take twenty (20) minutes or so each evening to write about what is going on.
But now it is time to get my mind right for tomorrow and get some rest. Thank you all for your wishes, thoughts and prayers. I'll carry you all with me into the board room. You will all indeed help me to do my best. Thank you now and in advance for your kindness and loyalty and patience. I have a lot to say and more to convey and express. I promise once things get going smoothly you will be able to read more here, more often. And I'll get more sections up and such. Going into next year my projects will be, as always, this page with the addition of my book. I'm taking a term off from eArmyU. Later this month I'll do some testing for credit towards my degree program as opposed to taking a two (02) month long course. I need a break. Things are looking good so far. I can up the pace and the drive a lot more but the way things are going now are pretty great. Besides, I do not want to achieve too much at one (01) time. Ha! Okay, it is time. I'll leave you with a good night and a good morning. Later.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SUNDAY 05TH OCTOBER 2003
12:24-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
I just awoke from a little nap. I really woke up around 7:00 but went back to sleep. I had the strangest dream during my nap. I have no idea where it took place. It was as if I had just walked in on a movie which had all ready begun. The only difference was that I wasn't watching but was in it.
It began in a desert. Another fellow (Think GENE hackman. Or well, yeah, GENE hackman. But it wasn't GENE hackman.) and I were supposed to blow something up. It may have been a trap or something. I'm not too sure. Anyway, I was setting it all up and he had the triggering device. But it wasn't working. It would simply release the safety and arm the explosives. For some reason pseudo GENE was going to betray me. I knew it but didn't let him know I knew it. I wanted to play along and wait for the perfect time to surprise him. So I messed around with a boulder and moved it closer to the box of explosives. (Keep in mind I had no idea what I was setting up, or for what reason. And it was never revealed to me in the course of the dream either.)
Soon I figured it was time to make my move: Out of the corner of my eye I could see he was prepared to arm the explosives. I wasn't finished setting up though, so when he armed it I'd have to finish setting things up with a motion sensor trigger device to deal with. I leapt in his direction and grabbed onto the remote control. I held it so that he wasn't able to arm the explosive. I yelled out something about "them" knowing everything and about how "they" were going to find him no matter what. (I guess I was part of some sort of sting operation with the CIA or FBI or some law enforcement agency.) Anyway he pushed me away, armed the explosives, pulled a handgun from underneath his shirt and shot himself. It all happened in a second or two (02) as the momentum of my push threw him backwards.
For some odd reason I still had to fiddle with the explosives. (Yes, I know it was weird to think about once I awoke. So this all is not really making much sense now, putting it on the screen. Ha!)
Just as I finished my "work" I heard people coming. I ran away and hid under a bridge. It was a bridge which went over what resembled a riverbed. I could see a man searching. He examined the explosive device and continued to search, moving in my direction. I came out from under the bridge and clung to the side of the riverbed. I played dead. He came right over me; I could feel his eyes. Then he shot me. I didn't really feel the bullet enter me. It was more of a "HMMMness, I heard a gunshot and I know he fired right at me," feeling.
A while later I was found by a boy. I do not remember this part vividly but somehow he came upon me. He helped me up and I followed him to a hospital or something like a hospital. But we weren't going to tend to my gunshot wound. In fact I'm pretty such the wound wasn't even an issue. In fact, I may have not had a gunshot wound at all. So anyway, we went into the hospital, "place".
All of a sudden we were before his family and the boy was explaining how he had found me in the desert, Now the "desert" seemed nothing more than a rocky, sandy plot in the middle of an urban area, much like a subsection of the grand canyon in the middle of Cabrini-Green. The boy approached an old man who I understood to be his father, only he was old enough to be the boy's grandfather, with a hearing aid jammed far into his ear canal to boot. The old man scoffed and found the very idea of his son showing up with a homeless person to be utterly repulsive.
I insisted that I wasn't homeless, that I had a family and a home and people who cared but had just been in the "desert" camping. I think I said this, I'm not too sure. I know I was insistent upon the fact I had a home. And that is about where the dream ended.
None of it made any real sense. I do not even know why I posted it. But oh well, I figured maybe, in some odd way, ... okay, I don't know why I just posted this. But well, my dream and my website so I can post whatever I wish. So there. How's that for justification.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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SATURDAY 04TH OCTOBER 2003
9:24-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
"Small Enough"
NICHOLE nordeman
Oh great GOD be small enough to hear me now
There were times when I was crying
From the dark of Daniel's den
And I had asked You once or twice
If You would part the sea again
But tonight I do not need a
Fiery pillar in the sky
Just want to know You're gonna
Hold me if I start to cry
Oh great GOD be small enough to hear me now
Oh great GOD be close enough to feel me now
(Oh great GOD be close to me)
There have been moments when I could not face
Goliath on my own
And how could I forget we marched
Around our share of Jerichos
But I'll not be setting out
A fleece for You tonight
Just wanna know that everything will be all right
Oh great GOD be close enough to feel me now
all praise and all the honor be
To the GOD of ancient mysteries
Whose every sign and wonder
Turn the pages of our history
But tonight my heart is heavy
And I cannot keep from whispering this prayer
Are you there?
And I know You could leave writing
On the wall that's just for me
Or send wisdom while I'm sleeping
Like in Solomon's sweet dreams
But I don't need the strength of Sampson
Or a chariot in the end
Just wanna know that you still know how many
Hairs are on my head
Oh great GOD (Are you small enough)
Be small enough to hear
Me now
Peace be with you. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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FRIDAY 03RD OCTOBER 2003
11:40-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Today began with a brisk battalion run. Yesterday evening there was concern about the uniform. Earlier in the week the Sergeant Major put out that we were to show up in the summer PT (Physical Training) uniform: shorts and short-sleeve shirt. since it was so cold yesterday everyone was hoping for a change in uniform. Thankfully later we heard we were to wear our jackets too. Most people were hoping to wear the pants as well, but beggars can not always be choosers. I was concerned with my hands for the most part. Wednesday's PT session was done in the cold but my hands were freezing. So I wasn't too excited about the thought of my hands freezing during the run.
It wasn't so bad though. And my need didn't bother me until the run was completely over. SHAMAL (SPC Mason) did the cadence calling aside the formation. I felt a bit bad because I told him after the last Battalion run that I'd help him out next time. Well, this was "next time" and I wasn't comfortable enough calling cadence. I had too much to take care of in the past few weeks; I had no time to sit and learn cadences. After the run SSG McManus made mention of the fact that SHAMAL was the only one (01) out to the left of the formation calling cadence as we all ran. He said that during the next run we were all to get out there and call cadence. Sounds like a good idea to me. I want to make up some of my own though and not sound off with the same ol' stuffage. But I'll work on a few later when the number of responsibilities and obligations in my life lessen a bit.
After the run we were to show up at the shop at 9:30 in our Class A (green dress uniform) uniform. Occasionally the Army has what is called "Payday Activities" on the Friday closely following payday. Usually it is nothing more than a Class A inspection and being released around noon that day. Luckily, I didn't have to do much work as my uniform was already set up with it is ribbons and brass and badges already properly placed. And I'll leave it such until the promotion board too. Ugh, the promotion board. I have to continue studying this weekend. Ha! I do not study nearly as much as I should folks.
SHAMAL and I had a little awards ceremony after the inspection. Our detachment commander, Chief Harvey, read out awards out and presented them to us in front of the formation. It was neat. DAN (SPC Crain) took pictures. Since he didn't have his Class A uniform prepared for the inspection he wasn't included. I had him get my camera from my room. I was surprised to see him there with it taking pictures during the inspection. I figured he would not be able to find it amidst all the clutter in the room. But, he did. He took a few decent pictures too. In retrospect I wish I had told him about the zoom button right in front of the shutter button. I do not think he used it. No big deal though.
There was no mock promotion board after all. It turns out my NCOs (Noncommissioned officers): SSG McManus, SGT Boyd, and SGT Lindly didn't have the listing of topics we were going to be asked about during the board. So, they had no idea which topics to choose questions from. Hey, I didn't complain. Of course, the mock board is on for Monday. I need to hit the books again this weekend so I do not appear before my supervisors Monday not knowing anything. And of course there is always my coursework for my Language in Social Context course. Yes, busy weekend. I'm glad now I dropped my Literature course. There is no way I'd be able to keep up with another writing intensive course. I'm thinking about taking a break next term and simply studying for a couple of CLEP tests that I'll be able to take for degree credit. If my PLDC (Primary Leadership Development Course) date is to be early November then I'll really want a break as I'll have to finish up my Language course an entire month early. I have looked at the rest of the coursework; it is not too bad, but it is surely enough work.
So, another week down. Next week when I have that to say I should be promotable. Yes, no more studying for the promotion board. That will be a huge relief and weigh off my shoulders. But it is not a week from now so I must study diligently this weekend so I can make a good appearance before the board. That is about the gist of what is on my plate for this weekend. I took the rest of today easy. But tomorrow I have to get down to business: Three (03) essays for my class and about fifteen (15) topics to become familiar with for my promotion board. Busy. Busy.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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THURSDAY 02ND OCTOBER 2003
11:20-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
A Soldier won the USD$150,000,000.00 jackpot in the multi-state Mega Millions lottery. It was the topic of conversation in the shop today. For once it is not some person over sixty (60) winning thousands each week. Nope, an Army Sergeant on leave from Korea opted to take the lump sum option, USD$88,000,000.00 before taxes. Good decision. Go Army!
Now naturally every military member and their spouse will begin playing, as if the luck of one (01) of their own will influence their luck as well. It seems this win hits a little closer to home, even though there are thousands upon thousands of personnel in the armed services. It is nice though to realize "we" can do it just like any seventy (70) year old retiree.
I just woke up from a nice lil nap. For some reason I was compelled to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. I'm planning to head right back to bed in a few minutes. Tomorrow morning we will have a Battalion run. I believe formation is at 0630. That should be fun. I always have fun running and singing cadence. I just hope my knee holds out long enough. We shall see. Afterwards we are having a dress uniform (Class A) inspection at the shop. MAURICIO (SPC Santos) and I have a mock promotion board afterwards. It is no big deal, it will be conducted at the shop by the ranking shop people. I know I need to study more, but this will be good to simply improve on the little things I didn't quite do well on during the Soldier of the Quarter board. Come Monday, when we have another mock promotion board at the shop I'll have studied much, much more.
Anyway, it is time to get some shut eye. I'll post about tomorrow, tomorrow. Later.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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WEDNESDAY 01ST OCTOBER 2003
10:45-PM-(UTC/GMT -5 Hours)
Well, I suppose today was just another day. Another month is just beginning. And as much as I wish this were a pivotal moment, a new beginning, I know it's just a continuation of last month. Fortunately last month wasn't all bad, things are just going on. In about a week I'll appear before a promotion board. The board will only last about half the day, and I'll only be before the board for maybe fifteen (15) minutes. Yes, weeks of studying and looking forward to the board culminates in one (01) day with the board only lasting about fifteen (15) minutes. So after the ninth, things will begin to go a bit more smoothly. I'm glad for that.
It seems I'll have to finish my class a month early as I suspect my PLDC, Primary Leadership Development Course, date to be early November. Here at Fort Drum the powers that be like to have you all set, with packets and information, for PLDC when you go to the board so you can go to the course the following month if possible. PLDC is a prerequisite of sorts to becoming a sergeant (E5). You're able to get pinned sergeant without having attended the four (04) week long course but if you don't attend it within a year's time after getting pinned, you'll have to attend another promotion board and you'll have to surrender your rank until you're able to attend.
No worries though, I'll be prepared to go as soon as I exit the board. it's the Fort Drum way after all. Lots to do. Lots to do. I have papers to write this weekend and more studying and reviewing for the board. Tomorrow I'll most likely study and review during lunch as SHERMEL scheduled a mock board for Friday. It's no big deal really. It's a pretend board in front of the people in the shop. I would rather not do it. But it's for my good so I suppose I'll benefit from it. She scheduled one (01) for Monday too. Yes, just what I want first thing Monday, to look forward to a mock board all day long. Fortunately my dress greens are still set up with my brass and ribbons on it from my Soldier of the Quarter board appearance. It was a good experience. It was my very first board so I needed to attend just to get the feel. Okay, honestly I didn't want to attend. But in retrospect, I'm very, very glad I did.
So October will simply be a continuation of things going on from September and at the same time it'll be a month which brings it's own tasks and obligations. I'll become twenty-two (22) by the month's end and I'll be a month closer to becoming a sergeant, going home on leave in December to see my family, and a month closer to closing this Army chapter in my life. And those are all things to definitely look forward to and be excited about.
It's been good to sit here and really put something down. I've been so busy; I'll update more frequently this month. Promise.
Peace be with you always. And may GOD continue to bless you.
Faith & Confidence
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Content on this page © 2002-2009 Ted A. Mueller unless otherwise stated.
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